‘What do I really want?’ Part I - Developing your narrative

I was in my mid-30s when I separated from a relationship. The only money I had was in our house. We had a little business that wasn’t worth much. I borrowed some money off a friend to live on and stayed at another friend’s house. 

The friend I was staying with asked me, ‘What are you doing?’

‘I've got to go and get a job. I've got to pay XXXX back, and I've got to live.’

And he said, ‘No, you’ve got a roof over your head and food.

‘I want you to write a narrative out to when you're 65 years old. I want you to write a vision for yourself and go big. Talk about your career in the context of the many other things that are important to you. Fill your boots up.’

Two weeks later, I said, ‘I've written the narrative.’

‘OK, what are you going to do?’ 

‘I’m going to get a job.’

And he said, ‘No, no, no. No, we're going to set some goals.’

Now I’ve developed a tool that helps clients picture themselves at a point in the future. 

Their narrative covers finances, career, love, family, friends, health, lifestyle and community. I ask them to write in the future moment, if possible, as a stream of consciousness. And I get some amazing narratives. 

One woman wrote it as a letter to her best friend.

Her message to her friend started with, ‘I'm just leaving France after my six-month sojourn. I've bought a house here. I'm coming back to Australia to work as an sustainability advisor to boards. My daughter Jane is just having her first child, my first grandchild.’

Over the next three months, whenever she got pulled into daily distractions and challenges, I'd bring her back to her vision. It’s about owning your narrative - including any negative self-talk and biases.

I’ll talk more about that in my next post. 

michael@consciousuprising.com.au